‘You Might Be In The River Of GOD If…’

By LaVrai, 21 May, 2008, 1 Comment

I won’t even say anything. Just please read this post from The Spitting Image Church…

You might be in the River of God if …

… your church aerobics class takes place During praise and worship time.

… you think of the floor, as an old friend.

… someone yells “Revival FIRE!” and you immediately “stop, drop and roll”.

… your pastor has a difficult time finishing a sentence, much less his message.

… after church, you find yourself asking people if they have seen your car.

… when you are getting a salad at a salad bar, some little kid yells “look Mom, a salad shooter”

… you are afraid of going to Kmart anymore because at times you draw more attention than the flashing blue light.

… you find yourself asking others, “Did you feel that?”, and realize that you now experience personal earthquakes.

… you spend more time getting into your car after church than you did getting ready to come to church.

… when picking out new clothes, you consider how they will look against the color of the sanctuary carpet.

… the 1 hour church service that used to be boring is now 3 hours long and seems too short.

… church services don’t start until everyone has crawled out of the prayer room and into the sanctuary.

… instead of a “cry room”, your church has a “laugh room”.

… you wonder what it is that you are “birthing” and if it will *ever* be born.

… the phrase “carpet burn” comes up at lease one time, when talking with church members.

… the “town drunk” is a member of your ministry team.

… you visit a more traditional church and find the opening hymn hilariously funny.

… your closet is divided into two sections – clothes that are appropriate for falling, and those that are not.

… you find yourself praying that the bible answer man will be struck by holy laughter during a live broadcast.

… when you break a fingernail, you blame it on spiritual warfare.

… you develop a slight hand tremor, and a prayer line forms in front of you during ministry time.

… your Pastor begins shining the church announcements on the ceiling via the overhead so all can read them.

… going to church involves a discussion as to who is going to be the designated driver after the service.

And please read The Spitting Image Church introduction COMPLETELY.

LaVrai – The Truth