Loading ...I won’t even say anything. Just please read this post from The Spitting Image Church…
You might be in the River of God if …
… your church aerobics class takes place During praise and worship time.
… you think of the floor, as an old friend.
… someone yells “Revival FIRE!” and you immediately “stop, drop and roll”.
… your pastor has a difficult time finishing a sentence, much less his message.
… after church, you find yourself asking people if they have seen your car.
… when you are getting a salad at a salad bar, some little kid yells “look Mom, a salad shooter”
… you are afraid of going to Kmart anymore because at times you draw more attention than the flashing blue light.
… you find yourself asking others, “Did you feel that?”, and realize that you now experience personal earthquakes.
… you spend more time getting into your car after church than you did getting ready to come to church.
… when picking out new clothes, you consider how they will look against the color of the sanctuary carpet.
… the 1 hour church service that used to be boring is now 3 hours long and seems too short.
… church services don’t start until everyone has crawled out of the prayer room and into the sanctuary.
… instead of a “cry room”, your church has a “laugh room”.
… you wonder what it is that you are “birthing” and if it will *ever* be born.
… the phrase “carpet burn” comes up at lease one time, when talking with church members.
… the “town drunk” is a member of your ministry team.
… you visit a more traditional church and find the opening hymn hilariously funny.
… your closet is divided into two sections - clothes that are appropriate for falling, and those that are not.
… you find yourself praying that the bible answer man will be struck by holy laughter during a live broadcast.
… when you break a fingernail, you blame it on spiritual warfare.
… you develop a slight hand tremor, and a prayer line forms in front of you during ministry time.
… your Pastor begins shining the church announcements on the ceiling via the overhead so all can read them.
… going to church involves a discussion as to who is going to be the designated driver after the service.
And please read The Spitting Image Church introduction COMPLETELY.
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